I am very horribly insanely busy and never sleep anymore but it's no excuse.
It's half 1 and I'm writing the play for the attachment - the attachment has been good so far with both Ed and London trips.
Got promotion at work and now there's a complete arse jobsworth trying to ruin me which makes for bundles of stress. Job is good with unprecedented level of freedom and huge pay bump but this guy needs to be made dead.
Moving in with girlfriend in 2 and a half weeks. I made a spreadsheet with separate worksheets for Agreed things to buy with reference numbers, aisle and locations etc; shopping list of things to buy with decisions or items needing to be made/found; Items bought already; and bills to set up.
She still loves me anyway.
I'm incredibly excited about constructing flat pack furniture. And sleeping next to the woman I love every night.
Trying to write and I'm looking for pot sets and knife blocks.
Thus far we have cutlery, place mats, coasters and kitchen towels. Hurrah.
Have had no time for fannish pursuits :( Think I'm up to date with grey's and that's it.
I'm so very tired - anyone want to write a play for me? :)
How are you all?
My Buffy moodtheme is gone because I didn't use shitty photobucket for more than 90 days :(
- Music:Skunk Anansie
I've still to look properly for Dreamwidth comm's, so any rec's from new DW friends would be appreciated. I have globbed onto the fandom_wank feed (which is great as I hardly ever log into journalfen) and have been informed of someone attempting to "force" JKR to rewrite HP. A guy with an M.A. (so he must know what he's talking about. /pointless snarkiness ) wants JK to rewrite the books as Harry himself is irrelevant and Hermione could've done much better with the boys. I don't disagree, even with that pesky scar horcrux. There are thousands upon thousands of things I would've liked her to change, had I such power.
But I don't. Because it's art (in the broad sense of the term), she's the artist and I'm the audience. And unless it's a Choose Your Own Adventure book then, as the audience, I'm in no position to be instructing the direction of said art.
That's it - simple as. And if can't accept this then don't read the books; or do what most of us do and write screeds of fanfic righting these wrongs. I understand that his problems are logical literature and editor based problems but I'm sure he could still go back and revise the whole series himself.
Then get sued. :)
- Feelin':satisfied
- Music:Uh Huh Her - Not A Love Song
Terracing was fun; the usual banter and humour - which included a ten year boy whose voice hadn't broken screaming at the top of his lungs. But it was freezing and the football was terrible. There were 17 goals in the other 4 games tonight in that division - we saw none. Sigh. Not to mention the scores from the champions league tonight looked like really exciting games. I've sky-plussed them as I'm knackered and have to get up early tomorrow to go sort out some paperwork for my interview for a government job on Saturday. I hate that I have to get pieces of paper which say that I am who I say I am.
Also - The L Word finale was heinous. I'm still raging about it. What a total non-conclusion. I posted about it like mad over on the lword comm yesterday as I was so hyped up.
Yawn yawn yawn
- Feelin':
sleepy
Have the cheesy/hammy/terrible lines really increased tenfold?
Are they just regurgitating a lot of stuff from general superhero canon?
Has the "plot twist" eye-rolling factor soared beyond all comprehension?
(I can think of about seven of these in this season alone)
Do the new characters just seem shallow and pointless?
Do the old characters seem 300% more irritating than they once were?
(For this I'm looking at Hiro, Peter, Nathan, Mohinder. Maya has actually decreased in the irritation stakes while Parkman continues his incredible, improbable rise to 5000% more irritating, which increases on weeks that he doesn't even appear)
When did my favourite character become Sylar?
(I actually know the answer to this one. It was after the "Claire - That's disgusting" line)
Answers? Any Heroes fans left?
I think we all know my suggestion for making Heroes better. More.Kristen.Bell. It's a stopgap, but a very pretty stopgap.
- Feelin':
aggravated
I've been watching Battlestar Galactica lately - Usually spaceship sci-fi is soooo not my thing. But it was highly rec'd and I was enticed by the use of Greek mythology. I managed to liberate the mini series and season 1 from ebay for pennies. I'm now on season four and enjoying very much. I love my over reaching arc stuff, but I do like that there's a definite end point - though not so much that the end is very much nigh and I'll have to wait til January to watch with everyone else is rubbish.
Anyway. Not the point of this post that I had to make, as I fall asleep, typing one handed. The point is that when I read the blurb of this article on the homepage of yahoo, an unintentional strangled cry of 'No' escaped my throat.
Robots feeling emotion? Intelligence? Have we learned nothing from Terminator, BSG and the Matrix??? It's all there. I'm not usually so paranoid, and I don't think a truly sentient mechanoid will be created in my lifetime but with steps such these and thoughts like "Hey, what harm could a dumb chore-doing machine be?" I can't help but see what lies ahead.
I'm starting a coalition for the Anti-Robot Future. Unite!
Or maybe I just need to turn off BSG and get some sleep, Y/Y??
Damnit. I can't see what damn keys I'm pressing and I've just made my firefox window full screen. Freaking me out. the robots did it. That should teach me for operating machinery while half passed-out and OD'd on sci-fi...
- Feelin': sleepy
Tis been a busy week, most of it boring.
But on Tuesday/ Wednesday morning I did finish (the first draft which runs at over 2 hours) of my play – Huzzah! I had the usual loopy, sleep deprived day after in which I loved everything and the world seemed infinitely better. I’ve sent it out to a few friends for feedback and after that I’ll fix and polish and then will use it to try in vain to convince theatre people that I can write and that they do want to pay me for the privilege.
Also entered a competition with an old play which my old tutor feels I have a good shot at. I had to fit specific criteria – 3 characters, living urban or rural Scots dialect and under an hour – So I sent in the play I often consider to be the bastard spawn, if I were to look at my various works as children. I don’t know why I consider it the let down and the bastard spawn because I actually enjoy it when I read it, instead of squirming. Perhaps I feel that way because it’s fairly crude and the plot isn’t overly taxing (read: simple). I didn’t do the extreme planning and research I usually do, because it didn’t really call for it. I wanted to have a go at writing about male friendship because I’m usually quite female-centric ;)
We’ll see though. I have a feeling that this competition might be trying to find a Sunset Song-y type of play, about fucking farms. Urgh. I feel like poking my eyes out when I read that genre in Scottish literature. So perhaps two
Here’s a movie which a highly, highly recommend you see: Boy A. Terrific. It’s British movie about a youth murderer who gets his life together after release with the help of his social worker. Moving, horrifying, so, so well written and dare I say beautiful?
And here’s some opinions on the start to some TV shows – Heroes, Fringe and House. I have been watching other stuff – Gossip Girl which I’m fairly happy with (zee014 : I thought of you during this weeks hockey skirt wearing scene – I’m still working on those Lively legs). And I have seen Grey’s, but not sure I want to comment on it yet.
- Feelin':
okay - Music:Amanda Palmer : Astronaut (A short history of nearly nothing)
| lynsangelic1 is energetic. |
| You've got the energy level of a small yip-yap dog. And, much like those dogs, I hope you get run over by an ice cream truck. Yeah, that's right. I said it. |
| wanna know your lj's moodring color? enter your user name and hit the button. (discussion thread)
|
I have never heard such slander in all my life.
- Feelin':
energetic - Music:Laces Out, Dan!
This is the author auction I mentioned a few days ago.
This is why - from supportstacie.net
Like millions of Americans Stacie (
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
truelovepooh ) was unable to afford expensive health insurance premiums and kept her fingers crossed that she wouldn’t require medical treatment. A 34 year old wife and mother of three had no reason to think her health would be an issue - she was young and had no previous health concerns.Her life changed on March 26th 2007 when she was diagnosed with both stage 2 ovarian cancer and breast cancer.
Pooh was forced to give up her job and has faced numerous visits to see doctors and specialists at the Trover Medical Foundation where she is being treated. Unfortunately, because she did not have insurance the medical bills are mounting and whilst the hospital are being very understanding and providing limited financial assistance the expenses are huge.
Many of you who read this blog will know “Pooh” - she will have touched your lives with her kindness, warmth and generosity - someone you can count on and who always puts others before herself. Also, many of you who read this blog may not know Stacie. You may have been directed here by friends or by following a link from one of the sites that are supporting our fundraising drive. Please take a moment to read this blog and find out what you can do to help a wonderful person in her battle with cancer.
Stacie is going to need constant treatment over the coming months and she needs our help to fight this disease. We are starting a fundraising drive to help support Stacie and her family.
This is what we're doing - from supportstacie.net
A Fanfic-On-Demand fundraiser is underway for friends of Stacie. Authors in any fandom are invited to write a short fic on demand. The writing challenges will be delivered to each participating author by the highest bidder in their personal auction, which will run September 8-14, 2008 here at SupportStacie.net.
The highest bidder gets to deliver the fic challenge to the author they’ve “won,” along with the story’s pairing, the rating, and other pertinent details (within reason and within the author’s stated fandom and limitations - i.e., some authors prefer not to write smut or a certain pairing). The author will be given up to 30 days to finish the fic, beginning with the day that payment is received.
What I'm doing
I've got 3 auctions going on - a 2,500+ word Harry Potter femslash, a 2,500+ word Grey's Anatomy femslash and a sneak preview of chapter nine of the This Is A Problem series which will be 5,000+ words. You get to set me to work. You say Hooch/Giant Squid, I'll be writing it. [As long as the Qiant Squid is female - cause, y'know, femmeslash only ;) ] You want raunchy mop cupboard sex, you got it. You want a heartbreaking unrequited Katie Bell/Professor Sinistra love story, it's all yours. Just put up the cash ;)
I'm trying to find the words to explain why I'm taking part, but I feel it's quite obvious.
truelovepooh is a fantastic, caring, kind hearted person battling not only cancer, but an obscene medical financial system. She needs more treatment but the hospital won't allow anymore until "unless a substantial payment is made".We all love our fandom community, especially here on LJ. Friendships can be forged over oceans and 'ships and in the strangest of ways. As fandom, we can band together to participate in something we can not only enjoy, but show amazing compassion and support for one of our own.
The Need-To-Know links
A summary of all the authors and fandoms available in alphabetical order
http://supportstacie.net/auction/about_t
Main Board: All authors bid threads are housed here
http://www.majiksfanfic.com/phpbb/viewfo
My $5 Harry Potter fic auction - F/slash, 2,500
http://www.majiksfanfic.com/phpbb/viewto
My $5 Grey’s Anatomy fic auction - F/slash, 2,500
http://www.majiksfanfic.com/phpbb/viewto
$10 Grey’s Anatomy – This Is A Problem series Chapter 9 advance sneak preview auction - At least 5,000
http://www.majiksfanfic.com/phpbb/viewto
http://supportstacie.net/auction/bidder%2
[And I may not technically be writing a VM fic for auction, but I could not resist my KBell...]
Grab a banner from here. Put it on your f-list! Annoy people to death about the auction! Because it is important. And not for my ego - there are 57 authors in this auction from a cross-section of fandoms so I'm willing to bet there's something for everyone. So - pimp, pimp, pimp.
And please bid. Haven't we all wanted a little writer puppet at one time or another? A wicked little writer puppet to do with as you please...
- Feelin':
hopeful - Music:Old 'Tallica
It's a jk, right? All just a joke.
The work this man has done has aided the production of the films which make you extra mega mega rich and you yourself have admitted to using his work while writing when out and about.
You go after him when there are so many more unofficial "companion" guides - The majority of which are total guff and have not contributed to your fortune in any small way.
To top it off, he has to pay you just under 7 grand. I'm sure he needs it more than you. I'm sure 7 grand is what falls out of your back pocket when you shake your trousers before putting them in the wash.
For shame, I say. For shame.
Edit: I wrote about this trial a while ago and bit more coherently here.
Oh, and hooray for new posting code/system/technical whatever. It means I only have to enter a link address once now because they don't immediately disappear with "error javascript" in place of the web address. That was really pissing me off.
- Feelin':
disappointed - Music:New 'Tallica
Rock me, Amadeus (Or how Mozart and heavy metal fans have more in common than they'd like to admit)
Researchers found fans of Motorhead shared "virtually identical" personality traits with Mozart lovers, both being unusually creative and introverted.
As part of a study into the link between people's musical tastes and their personalities, psychologists at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh asked more than 36,000 people worldwide to rate 104 musical styles and questioned them on aspects of their personality.
Professor Adrian North, Heriot-Watt's head of applied psychology, said the results showed musical tastes could directly reflect people's characters.
While indie music listeners tended to lack self-esteem, pop music fans were largely uncreative, he said. People into country and western were hard-working, rap fans were outgoing, and lovers of jazz and classical music were innovative and bursting with self-confidence.
Most surprisingly, he said: "I was struck by how similar fans of heavy metal and classical music really are. Apart from the age differences, they were virtually identical.
"Both were more creative than other people, both were not terribly outgoing and they were also quite at ease with themselves."
But Susan Nickalls, a classical music reviewer for The Scotsman, poured scorn on his theory. "What do you do if you like hip-hop, jazz, classical and rock – does that mean you are schizophrenic?" she asked. "How can you say that everyone who goes to an opera is creative? This guy should research something serious.
"I like heavy metal and I like classical and I like opera. I like Whitesnake, and my favourite operas include Tosca. When the heroine throws herself off the battlements, heavy metal people might say that's the equivalent of bashing your guitar on stage."
Fiona Shepherd, The Scotsman's rock music critic, said it would be good if the survey contributed to the rehabilitation of the heavy metal music fan, to give a more "rounded and surprising picture".
Prof North suggested fans of jazz and soul had the "best" character traits, including high self-esteem and an outgoing nature. He went on: "People often define their sense of identity through their musical taste, wearing particular clothes, going to certain pubs, and using certain types of slang. It's not so surprising that personality should also be related to musical preference."
Some 36,518 people from countries as far afield as Malaysia, China, Japan and Chile were asked to rate musical styles ranging from chart pop to Bollywood music and opera as part of the Heriot-Watt study.
Huzzah for mass generalisations. Since I fit into both camps of Metal fan and Classical fan, then I suppose I'm the exact double of myself. Or something. I've been listening a bit of Dresden Dolls lately. I was completely surprised at what they actually sound like. In my head, I'd written them off as a rubbish ear-bleeding Murderdolls-a-like or something similarly awful. Not the case. Punk caberet they call it, all piano, experimental sounds and word play lyrics. Very enjoyable.
I'll be posting later more on a fic auction I'm taking part in (just need to send the app away) and perhaps my thoughts on what I've seen on the Rep/Dem conventions (I'm going to steer right past my sudden attraction to Chelsea Clinton. Maybe.)
But for now, I was left with this bizarre thought as I washed this morning. With my black pj T shirt pulled over my head but still hanging on there at the crown of my head, I was hit with a sudden realisation : I'd look no too bad in a habit.
Anyone else had similar thoughts? Surely we all did something similar as kids? No? Just me?
- Feelin':
cheerful - Music:Dresden Dolls: Modern Moonlight
*shakes it off*
Here's a pic for zee014, the consummate believer that Emma Watson is impeccably classy.
Is this the first step on the road to Lohan-ism?
*snigger*
I am, of course, joking. Corona has lately been my bottled beer of choice. And bonus points for having the lime in the bottle as well. And she is wearing a lot of clothes which makes her categorically Not-Lohan.
[This entry sponsored by the 'Campaign To Make Emma Watson Look Cool But Also Urge People Drink Responsibly As Well, Because Alcohol Can Lead To Serious Problems - So Be Good, OK?'.]
- Feelin':
cold
Pairing: Hr/G (background)
Characters: Harry, Hermione, Ginny
Summary: What happens when the internet comes to Hogwarts?
Authors Notes: Crack fic to the extreme. Time period is irrelevant. And it’s so terribly post-post-post modern ;) Written between the hours of 2.10am and 4.30am. That should be warning enough for the “humour” contained within.
- Feelin':
accomplished
Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...
NBPC - The Daydreamer
You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow.
The Perception Personality Types:
Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy
Daydreamer? So not surprised. It's quite accurate in regards to comfort and energy in solitude, especially by the sea. Give me a sea and a nice sky and I'm happy. It's actually what I plan to do for my birthday this year - sit by the sea for the day, notepad, music, Irn Bru and I'll be set. I usually get melancholy to the extreme on my birthday - not so much about getting older, but other things. I've tried many different things over the past few years to combat the birthday blues - quiet family dinner, raucous night out, quiet night out, raucous night in etc etc but I'm feeling quite good about this plan and haven't actually told anyone yet, although I'm sure it'll be considered extremely sad. I just hope the weather's decent. As much as I like the rain, I don't fancy hanging out in the rain by the sea by myself.
The quiz is wrong in terms of 'going with the flow' and not paying attention to detail, but even a computer can't be right all the time. I see I missed the 'artist' criteria only by favouring background over foreground. That's just because I have a thing for seas and skies :)
I wrote a crack!fic in the wee hours of last night. It's not anything special, but I'll post it later. I see that 12,000 HP fans have petitioned to have the film moved back to November. I'd sign that on condition that the movie would indeed be finished to best of ability by November and that the move was entirely motivated by money (which is ridiculous because HBP is making millions and millions any time). However, if they want an extra couple months to edit, polish, tweak or maybe even reshoot some scenes then I'm cool with a Summer 09 release. As much as I have been looking forward to HBP, I don't want it to be an utter pile of crap when it comes out because IMO Yates needs every advantage he can get to compensate for his poor skills in this genre.
On other news, I have completely OD'd on football since the season's return. I even watched a game between Miami FC and the Carolina RailHawks in the USL first division at some stupid time in the morning over the internet on the Fox soccer channel. I'm telling you - I'm seriously ill.
- Feelin':
contemplative - Music:Arg v Bra Olympics Semi
This past week I've been thinking lots about Network. I saw it a couple of years ago but the the Mad as Hell speech keeps flashing in my mind. Every time it does, I tell the nearest person in my vicinity about it - and thus far, no one's seen Network. I know it's an older film, but I didn't think it obscure.
I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth. Banks are going bust. Shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's no one anywhere that seems to know what to do with us. Now into it. We know the air is unfit to breathe, our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had 15 homicides and 63 violent crimes as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad. Worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy so we don't go out anymore.I think this is what's needed. People need to get mad. They need to care. But I have so little faith, I just don't see it.
We sit in a house as slowly the world we're living in is getting smaller and all we say is, "Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster, and TV, and my steel belted radials and I won't say anything."
Well I'm not going to leave you alone. I want you to get mad. I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot. I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crying in the streets. All I know is first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, "I'm a human being. God Dammit, my life has value."
So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out, and yell, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" I want you to get up right now. Get up. Go to your windows, open your windows, and stick your head out, and yell, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!" Things have got to change my friends. You've got to get mad. You've got to say, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!" Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open your window, stick your head out and yell, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"
On the other hand, I could do nothing: Watch as Labour fall apart (Well, I wouldn't of been helping them anyway), Shudder as Tory get into power and then have the Independence referendum right around the corner which will surely pass - as the polling increases as does SNP Holyrood approval rate but when you add in Tory rule, the people of Scotland (Independents/Unionists/Undecideds/Could Care Less's) will do anything to stop the Conservative's from having power in Scotland.
Perhaps in 2010 I'll see the political awareness/drive that I wish to see from a majority, instead of the minority.
--
The play's still not done (and I can't be writing fanfic until it's done and I've had a few idle ideas lately). Have done nothing remotely related to writing today. Nothing. But then it is Saturday, traditionally the day to immerse myself in football for 8 or 9 hours, forget everything else and be innately, unhealthy obsessed with eleven men.
Oh, and finally watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall - Good, if quite distressing. Watching my KBell let Russell Brand sex her actually nearly caused me to vomit. I am not kidding. I had that strong a reaction. And that's because I know where he's been.
- Feelin':
frustrated
They have this one, simple, clean looking page. They type in what they're looking for and it's go go go. The more ambitious dramas will have them trying two or three search terms to show that they're arduously working on the problem by battering a keyboard on this excellent search engine which always give them what they're looking for. Some even go so far as to produce three or four links conveniently under each other which indicate a 'pattern' or whatever.
Anyway. My point is - I do not have that search engine. I have google - Which I've always loved. But it's let me down tonight.
Will I have to go to the library and look through micro
June 5th 2007 a 68 year old woman in Scotland developed the bubonic plague which turned to pneumonic. I want to know where etc but I cannot find a thing about it. Except on wiki, which is where I found it in the first place.
The conclusion I'm slowly coming to is that wiki is lying to me - as is very possible being a mass-edited enclyclopedia. This makes me sad. I don't think it's lied to me before.
I don't think I'll ever be able to trust the internets ever again...
In other news, I watched Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog last night - Bravo Whedon! Once again you make me giddy, sad, involved, intrigued and left with the need to sing every song loudly and out of tune. If you haven't seen it, I recommend you do at once. That's a man who put his downtime during the WGA strike to good use. It's still free online so there's really no excuse. Unless you have a suck connection. Then I recommend download.
- Feelin':
sad - Music:DHSAB - On the Rise
It's procrastination in it's purest form. I know it's not just me who can sit, dead eyed, blank soul and an active index finger which just keeps pressing 'Deal' for a new game of Solitaire. Well, this site is much, much worse. I haven't actually explored any of the dozens of games on offer, bar one - 9 ball pool. It's getting ridiculous. I must stop.
I've done many things to procrastinate from writing in the past wee while and it seems like every time I settle down, something distracts me - phone call, text, dog... I've set myself a deadline on Sunday night. I work so much better to deadlines. I've even written it in red pen on my calendar. Hopefully that will be the sufficient kick up the ass I need.
I've been listening to a bit of Morissette today and when listening to 21 Things I Want In A Lover I wondered how many conditions I would actually fill.
- Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Depends who but usually yes. I can’t help but be bitter if I dislike the person.
- Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
I play fair but may quietly sulk if comprehensively beaten.
- Do you have a big intellectual capacity?
I believe so.
- But know that it alone does not equate wisdom?
Yep.
- Do you see everything as an illusion?
No.
- But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
N/A.
- Are you both masculine and feminine?
I do enjoy boypants, beer and football so we’ll say yes.
- Politically aware?
Yes.
- And don't believe in capital punishment?
Absolutely don’t believe. But I believe if I was ever in the position of someone close to me being killed, I’d want the perpetrator swinging. But that’s why we have a legal system.
- Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that loving someone can actually feel like freedom?
Complex question, Alanis. I would have to go with yes. I usually have to be pushed before ‘diving in’ though.
- Are you funny?
I hope so. Otherwise I’ve just been getting pity laughs my entire joke-making life. Or they’re all laughing at me.
- A la self-deprecating?
Only with good friends.
- Like adventure?
I like what I consider adventure, but haven’t been in any treasure caves recently.
- And have many formed opinions?
Too many.
- Are you uninhibited in bed?
Can be.
- More than three times a week?
Yes, more than 3 times a week – Would you like an estimate first,, Alanis?
- Up for being experimental?
The extent of your ‘experimental’ intrigues me, so I’ll say yes.
- Are you athletic?
I try but not really.
- Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?
Yep.
- Are you not addicted?
Oh, I have many addictions.
- ...curious and communicative...
Yes, yes.
Looks like 17/21. I cannot believe that I am so bored that I accidentally created a meme. Urgh.
Need big rock to head immediately please.
- Feelin':
lazy
workingHaving spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Maryhill police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the
idea and try e-mailing you instead.
Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Maryhill by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or ouji board.
As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in Balfour Street which is just Off Kelvindale Road. Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite.
This causes an earth shattering CLANG! Which rings throughout the entire building.
This game is now in it's third week and as I am unsure how the scoring sytem works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.
The remaining five walking abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins.
One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on speed.
I fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited attention to the bottle of calor gas that is lying on it's side between the two bins.
If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it.
I would even go so far as to lend them the matches.
Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just finished decorating the kitchen.
What I suggest is this:
After replying to this e-mail with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants around - then drive up the street in a panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again.
This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.
I trust that when I take a clawhammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month
head start before coming to arrest me.
I remain sir, your obedient servant
?????????
Mr ??????,
I have read your e-mail and understand you frustration at the problems caused by youth playing in the area and the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police.
As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you.
Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.
Regards
PC ???
?????????????
Community Beat Officer
Dear PC ?????
First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my original e-mail.16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for Maryhill Police station and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next book.
Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has it's own community beat officer.
May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills.In the five or so years I have lived in Balfour Street, I have never seen you.
Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand basin? It's surely only a matter of time before you are headhunted by MI5.
Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Maryhill such as smoking in a public place or being Muslim without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to
these twats that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere.
The pitch behind the Wrecky or the one at Cleveden Secondary are both within spitting distance from said street.
Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to contact me on ??? ????.
If after 25 minutes I have still failed to answer, I'll buy you a large one in Harveys.
Regards
???????
P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you don't work for the cleansing department.
- Feelin': cheerful
My Top 5 (tagged by zee014 - Who else would give me such a task?)
1) List 5 celebrities you would consider having sex with without even asking questions (provided they smelled good).
2) Put all of them IN ORDER of your lust for them [5 - 1, 1 is the hottest].
3) Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
4) Supply photos for said people.
5) Tag five people
5 – Elizabeth Perkins
Lovely. Just lovely. Her hair's quite strawberry blonde here, but often quite red. As Celia Hodes, she is one of the hottest women ever to say 'fuck'. Weeds would be the thing that turned me onto her. But I do remember thinking she was very beautiful as a child watching Miracle on
4 – Jennifer Garner
Though this is an undeniably racy picture, the reason I like Garner is that she’s so naturally beautiful and wholesome, especially when smiling. She’s got that strong jaw, sun kissed skin thing that I like. Many people may not think that a ‘thing’ but it is to me. Alias would be the show that introduced me to JG.
3 – Kristen Bell
My obsession with KB has been well-documented in this journal. She’s just so classy, beautiful and smart. I first saw her in Veronica Mars, squealed like a little bitch when she turned up in Heroes as I hadn’t read any spoilers for her casting but it was my dream that spurred on the love.
2 – Kate Winslet
First adored in Titanic, then in Jude and Heavenly Creatures. My love grew as she acted her socks off in the terrific Quills and was cemented truly in Eternal Sunshine’s crotch showing scene in the 70’s dress with red hair. Myself and another pervy little friend clutched each other and squealed in the cinema as this moment. Were we embarrassed? No, not a bit!
1 – Angelina Jolie
First, last and probably always. I think Jolie splits opinions but she is undeniably beautiful, even if she isn’t your cup of tea. Loved her in Tomb Raider – a friend of mine buying her and me matching Lara Croft posters from the local video shop – and tracked her back catalogue to Gia and this is where the love bloomed. I’ve seen most of what she’s done – both good and bad – but she remains immensely talented. She’s talented and fierce yet sometimes appearing vulnerable and gentle. Plus, the lips aren’t exactly a turn off either.
Honourable Mentions to: Catherine Zeta Jones (Huge
Really. It would’ve been easier to make a top 100.
And now other stuff. Well I’ve been watching a couple of movies lately. I do go through phases where I’ll have the patience and/or time to sit down and enjoy a film and then I’ll watch loads. Then I’ll watch nothing for months. It cycles.
Seen Dark Knight. As many, many others have. Very enjoyable, well written, well acted and I’d say that I liked it better than Batman Begins. However, this craziness over at IMDB which ranks it number one of all time - above Shawshank Redemption and Gia - is just nonsense. I have full faith that the balance to the universe will be restored in a few months once everyone’s shit has calmed down.
Rewatchings of Casino and Speed followed, both being enjoyed thoroughly. Casino remains my favourite Scorcese movie – an opinion which is often scoffed at. I care not.
Then watched Poseidon tonight (I was in the mood for sinking ship stuff after the Doctor Who similar type Xmas special.) I’m a fan of disaster films – good trash to get swept up in, I say. I’m also funnily enough, a fan of Kurt Russell (Maybe because I fancy both his partner and daughter). I’ve grown accustomed to his face. Poseidon got me thinking about what I would do in such a situation (as most disaster films do). I was getting immensely pissed off at Mia Maestro’s whiny character - so much so that I had to express my opinion to the screen with a series of grunts and then later shrieking ‘OH MY GOD YOU GIT, JUST GET ON WITH IT! IT’S NOT THAT DIFFICULT IF YOU WANT TO LIVE! YOUR IDIOCY IS GOING TO GET EVERYONE KILLED!’
Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that if I was ever in a disaster situation, I would vet my crew or accompanying party while I make a break for safety.
Claustrophobic? Panic attacks? Then no, sorry, stay here and die with the others. I can’t have you spazzing out at possibly the worst moment
Drunk? No, no. It’s best you stay here and enjoy your last moments as you will surely make some hideous inebriated mistake and die horribly. But not before acting like a jackass and causing discord in the group.
Weak/injured but too noble for own good? Sorry. I’ll just get attached to you and then you’ll die to either save the rest of us or because you were too slow or pathetic.
Child? No. Just NO. I realise that in Poisedon they needed they little moron to get past one challenge, but really, who the hell wanders off while on a sinking ship? You get bored with all the imminent danger and death? Idiot.
Kurt Russell? Yeah. OK. You’ve got me there. I do want you on my team. While others would pick Willis, Stallone or even Van Damme: I’m sticking with Russell.
I imagine there are probably more criteria.
And a final word on the new Half Blood Prince trailer - Voldemort Begins, or what? Barely saw any Hermione. Humph. But the mini-Voldemort kid looks ace. The pensieve vials look... highly suggestive. It's estimated that slash writers have produced 176% more fanfic since the release of this trailer.
- Feelin':
mischievous
Spose the reason to post may be my icon, cropped by IJ icon maker from the work of art made in Paint (because PSP gives me brain freeze and I feel there are just too many buttons that do relatively the same thing - can't they just have an icon wizard or something? Shouldn't it be easier? How do people manage to churn out zillions of these things?) I think it looks a bit like a family portrait. Daddy Filch, Mummy Penelope Mop and Baby Mrs Norris.
That's all. I can't think of anything else entirely worthless to say.
- Location:the core of the earth
- Feelin':
hot
